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today happens to be one of the most intense sundays i’ve had for a while, possibly due to the sheer amount of singing, praising and worshipping i did!

hearing lawrence wee lead worship in the main service for the first time today was absolutely inspiring. even though i was still deaf in one ear, it didnt take both ears for me to figure out that he had a great anointing in leading worship, and for me it’s the first time in a while that i’ve felt like i could actually worship God freely, without any inhibitions or whatsoever.

the global day of prayer was pretty awesome too. i personally thought the worship team was great, esp the female lead singer, and the way the musicians and worship leaders synchronized the music and worship so beautifully… there was a lot that i thought i needed to learn from them. i thought the drummer was pretty good too, because the beats he used were the ones i could never play properly, and they were the ones planetshakers usually use in their songs.

at times during the prayer meeting, i looked ard involuntarily, trying to make sense of all this. once, i was awestruck by the sheer magnitude of the max pavillion, and the number of youths that actually turned up to pray for our generation and the world. this, all this, confined to just a single hall in singapore expo. if we could make a little difference just by the power of fellowship and prayer together, how much more will the heavens shake and the earth tremble with the collective prayers of all the youth around the world today? it is so apt that gdop is held on pentecost, when the believers during jesus’ time were first baptized by the Holy Spirit on the very same day. a change in the world is needed, but that change needs to come from within our very selves before we can even think abt changing the world for Him.

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i’m sorry i havent been a good christian. sorry i havent been a good testimony. sorry that i havent been… good.
but now i’ve made my stand, and i pray that You’ll always remind me of who i am, and what i stand up for.
praying for a change of heart, change of mind, refreshing and renewing of my spirit.
Holy Spirit, please be my best friend?
amen.

life has been pretty relaxed in the past few days, with our course cohesion buffet lunch at seoul garden yesterday, and with a little youth gathering at may’s place today as well. i have also played lan for like the 5th time in my entire life with 1/4 of my course, although 3 hrs straight of battlefield 2 is pretty boring after a while ><

the gathering at may’s place today was great! watching ppl smash the shit out of a drum controller thingo for some japanese ps2 game, table tennis, badminton, BOLT, dinner, and more mindless smashing of the drum controller… these things make a little boy in army happy (: it’s been quite a while since i spent so much time with the youth, and i guess it felt pretty good heh. unfortunately, it also reminded me of how alone and detached i actually was within the youth group. perhaps i should step up and be more friendly to ppl? i dunno. it’s hard to find somebody (that’s not from acs hehe) that i can click with nowadays hmm.

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in other news, sean’s G700 is dead. this means he has to go back to his winnie-the-pooh-nokia-8250 for the whole of next week. please try not to text, call if possible. i can onli hold up to 30 msges in that phone, and type up to 160 characters to reply. not fun.

also, sean’s left ear has ceased to function. i spent the whole of today without any ability to hear with my left ear, and it’s way more annoying than having a spoilt phone.

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GLOBAL DAY OF PRAYER IS UPON US.

things sean did this week:

1. count stores
2. add and subtract
3. bullshit
4. disguise bullshit with big words
5. clothe people
6. feed the hungry
7. find out that he’s been PES E for abt 10 days, and counting
8. book out of camp 3.5 hrs before working hrs ended
9. watch terminator
10. stay out

wahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

this was a super duper slack week in army. on job training is ridiculously easy, it’s just annoying boring cos we have to sit ard and wait for things to happen in order to clock the required number of hrs for our certs. thank goodness for shawn’s psp though, i’d have never been able to get through this week so quickly without it (:

it was a pretty damn retarded week we had as well. the night’s out on wed probably encapsulated the absolute madness that was syndicate 7, with a bunch of them going out to watch star trek, before they had a little drinking session. jun wei and daryl were so tipsy after that, they ended up talking shit and laughing in high pitched voices super loudly. ppl who were just walking into camp after booking back in could see the idiots bouncing up and down on their beds through the windows, and hear the shrill laughter that accompanied the sight.

in the latest news, sean’s newest academic qualification is a cert from ITE! this single certificate is all he will be getting after 11 weeks of being in the supply supervisor course, and will be a significant addition to his already impressively non-existent cv. also, he and his syndicate will look like absolute retards in the course picture cos everyone of them freaky smiled in the picture, like: 8D

(i’m so terribly incoherent today, sigh.)

today was a good good saturday though. i attended the playmax leader’s training thingo today, and it was pretty interesting to see the different scenarios that might possibly present itself on that day, as well as to learn how to deal with certain people and questions that might come our way. of course, i had to go for haircut because of the WSM’s inspection on monday, and cos i have guard duty tmr so i cant do it after church.

sunday guard duty is disgusting. more so when i’m supposed to be on drums, lead cell, and play soccer on the day that i’m scheduled for guard duty. the weekday guard duty personnel have it easy, 5pm to 12midnight. poor boys like martin and i have to do it from 8am to 12midnight, on a perfectly perfect weekend.

"MOTHERF**KING GUARD DUTY" - martin.
see you guys next bookout!

soccer with the church guys today was wonderful, especially with the temporary high all the adrenaline gave me. the weather was super warm today, with the sun beating mercilessly upon us, but nothing was gonna deter us from having a great game. i got my body pretty beat up today, getting smashed by a charging ian while i was running full speed (shawn, marcus, jeremy and jonathan claim i flew) and landing hard onto the court, hurting my right side. after they ascertained that i was fine, other than some abrasions and bruises, thomas attempted to lead the guys into a taupok session. thank goodness he was the onli one on top of me, and i could still throw him off xD guess my smallboyboys dun dare offend me just yet, and ian still felt bad abt smashing me. i need to eat more, rawr.

i still suck at soccer. the onli thing i have on my side is speed, and then again i’m not even really fast compared to my peers, just that i’m one of the fastest in church. my touch is terrible, passing is crap, dribbling is non-existent and i managed to hit the post 6 times today and still not score. at least i got a good workout, and lots of fun with my cell members, and new scars to replace the old ones i wanna forget abt (like the one i got when i fell on 17th july 06, heh).

cojt starts this week! basically, it’s on-job-training, and that means i’ll get to shadow an upper study or sth to learn what my job will be like for the next 2 years. hopefully this also means i get to come home a lot more often, or that things will start becoming really slack from here on out for the last 2 weeks of my course. booking in soon so… see you when i’m back from camp (;

perhaps this is just pure coincidence, or maybe it’s already been planned beforehand. either way, i’ve been learning how to trust in God’s plan and His will for me increasingly, and not try to force things to work out my way.

exercise molar has finally concluded! it was a really really really annoying time for me, especially having been appointed ration ic, and having to contend with a huge group of freaking slackers who do nothing but sit around to talk shit all day instead of helping the rest of us. and this time, the fsg was so super slack that the tasks could really have been completed with 1/4 the time that we took to complete them, since there were so many ppl to help out this time as well. perhaps it’s just me, but i’ve been so absolutely grumpy and easily pissed off lately i dun even like who i am anymore. having nobody to rant to doesnt help my cause either, but now that it’s all said and done i’m gonna try putting the past behind me.

the presentation of my blue beret yesterday meant that i have officially become an army logistician, and the end of my outfields during my supply supervisor course wahaha. even though it might not seem like that much of a big deal, but i have this funny little feeling that my coursemates felt an immense degree of pride and joy when they donned their berets for the very first time. when i put mine on, i couldnt help but wonder if God had preordained all this beforehand, and that my injuries still affect me after 7 years for a reason, or if the 6 years i spent with ncc air was just a preparation for the things to come. i’ll be using my old ncc beret instead of the brand new one, mostly because it’s already so well seasoned heh, but partly because it brings back so many memories for me.

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the playmax run-through at st andrew’s cathedral today was just what i needed after a week of stress and annoyance. it was a whole lot of fun, playing games with may, dawn, jomel, penny and shawn, just walking in and around sac, and meeting random ppl like samuel tho, this random girl at the teengames booth, and dinesh! >< thank goodness for the few hrs of fun, i really needed to destress badly.

today also kinda marked my first time eating at subway. obviously, i had no idea what was good and what i should order, so dawn kinda made most of the impt decisions for me. in the end i had a cheese steak sub, with onion and lettuce, honey oat bread, and two of the sauces. it was pretty good actually, but not as filling as everyone else thought it was heh. i think i must have been too deprived of proper food outfield. the peanut butter and chocolate chip cookies were great though! there’s the possibility that i might go back to subway in the near future just for the cookies now, muaha.

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i suppose emotional stress shouldnt get to me as much as it does now, especially when i should be too physically drained to even bother abt such affairs. i’m started to get the feeling that i’m very different from my interpretation of who i am, and of what others think i am. perhaps it’s the side effects of the isotretenoin again, but that still shouldnt be an excuse. 

i choose to trust in You God, and i pray that i’ll never feel as if You let me down.

30min more, and i’ll be booking into camp. the big exercises are this week, molar/playtime combined with underslung, and it’s gonna be a very very taxing week ahead. i doubt anyone can communicate with me in the next few days, unless i find a way to charge my phone even though we’re supposed to be outfield (like navigating my way out of the jungle and into civilisation "by accident", hoho).

so yes, take care everyone! see you after i own the jungles yet again (;

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thanks for the soccer today guys. everyone that usually play played today, and you have no idea how much it means to me when i actually feel like i’m part of sth in church now. all the best for those who are taking exams, and to those who have hectic work weeks ahead.

peace out.

as ian puts it, "from one offshore island to another"

the little attempt to meet up with the geps today was quite a failure, especially since only 4/7 of us that were supposed to turn up for some ubin cycling did. and even then, the 4 that did turn up all ended up coming late! arjun would have been perfectly on time though, had it not been for me and my problem waking up. the alarm rang, i picked up my phone to shut it and thought to myself "oh look! it’s 6 and i’ll be early!" before falling asleep at the very next second. i kid you not. wad finally woke me up was arjun’s phonecall at 655, and that was when i realised what the heck happened to me ><

the weather was absolutely fantastic though. it rained earlier in the morning, so it was wet like the last time we were there, but without the rain and with all the cool breeze. ian, patrick, arjun and i spent the entire day just cycling ard aimlessly, because nobody rmbred to bring a map along this time, and we went to places in ubin i never knew existed before. chek jawa was a disappointment this time round though. all the fishes were taken out of the nice aquarium thing at the visitor’s centre, the tvs and scanners were all down for maintenance, and the tide was high so we couldnt see much either. we onli saw a jellyfish and some mudskippers, coupled with lots of mosquitos.

met up with the rest that couldnt wake up for the cycle (except a certain bum) later on for lunch at marina square, so it was daryl daniel, ding, patrick, arjeyboy and i at carl’s jr. it was a time of good laughs and catching up, although i think we didnt talk abt anything other than army. cant be helped when your entire life right now is circled ard sth can it? and the best joke i heard today had to come from daniel.

"i am the matador carrier. that means i carry a 9kg tube of manliness… and the matador."

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yet another week in STC has gone by, and this time i really have to commend it for being so useless. i honestly dun rmbr doing anything vaguely useful during the week at all, other than for thursday’s underslung theory lessons and friday’s underslung dry run. btw, underslung refers to the loading of stores/vehicles in a cargo net or sling so that a helicopter can airlift it to wherever it needs to go. the real exercise, where we load the stores and let a super puma airlift it, will be carried out this coming week when we all go outfield again for exercise molar/playtime.

blah, this is really like my 2nd and 3rd outfield exercises combined into one mega outfield. whoever thought a storeman would only just have to know what’s in their stores, keep them, lend them out, and then take them back to their respective places in the store was… right. it’s the supervisors like us that get all the shit, cos we’re the ones that are gonna be screwed for anything and everything when the supplies dun arrive for our dear combantants (yes ian, i’m referring to you). i hope being part of the ration party this time would be a lot more simple, especially when field rations are being issued out this exercise, which means i onli have to collect and give out the food once a day! but still, pray for my safety and sanity please. (:

salina, penny and i FINALLY got a chance to meet up and go out today. it was so wonderful to catch up with that silly stick of a girl again, after so freaking long. sal and i managed to just chat and catch up for abt 40min before penny arrived, talking abt anything and everything under the sun, just like old times. sal’s sec sch classmate bumped into us at island creamery though, i wonder if she thought that sth was going on between the both of us…

but anyway, the real madness began when penny joined us. two ex-st margs girls combined = crazy laughter and lots of staring. they were commenting abt how retarded the hwa chong students were for not sitting down even though i gave up my seat so that they could sit together, and discussing abt the history of hcjc while the whole group of them were sitting right next to us during lunch. then there was the laughing at the bus stop (penny laughed till she choked there), on the bus to ps (which made half of the passengers stare at us), at ben and jerry’s (which forced every other customer to sit outside cos the bunch of teenagers inside were going batshit crazy taking pictures)… sigh.

it was such a pity mossy couldnt join us today, but i’m sure a proper oh-9! reunion will be on its way soon enough! this time, we’re gonna take a proper picture/write a proper msg on a napkin and post it up in island creamery or ben and jerry’s. i promise i’ll try not to look stupid when the pictures are being taken (:

BOOK IN TMR LOH.