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it’d better anyway, i spent the entire study break on it. zz.

i cant believe how deluded some ppl are sometimes. they just think that nothing can stand in their way, and that no matter what the situation will always go the way they want it to go.

reality check dumbshits, the world doesnt work that way. 

now i’m not saying that we should let our circumstances control us, or to let the problem overwhelm us. sure, we should always give ourselves a fighting chance, and everyone has a right to their opinions. however, we do not have the right to impose these opinions on others. like it or not, the ppl you’re trying to influence have their own damn opinions abt the issues as well. when they make their stand known to you, you will also start to see things in that perspective, and you might even have to consider the possibility that their stand isnt wrong either.

you might think you have steely resolve, but come on. some reflection should take place before you try to talk big with that inflated ego of yours. actions definitely speak louder than words, so if you’re already yielding in terms of actions please just stfu cos i dun wanna listen to your damn excuses anymore.

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i think sheryl’s absence is getting to me. since i have nobody to lecture advise anymore, i have to rant here instead.

i wanna arrange music… noowwwwwww.

rrr. physics.

wtf i dun even know wad i did that -points to post below- for last night.

this exam thing is really getting to me.

the slate has been erased. looks pretty clean to me now, save for some markings scored into it forever.

i’ve "died", but i’ve respawned again. with my points still intact.

lock and load.

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you’ve heard this before, but i need some motivation right now.

some dedication, in more ways than one, would be greatly appreciated as well.

who’s corps? 

my corps.

this is so annoying. why of all times must i feel like arranging songs when it’s the exam period? blah, such a torture this is.

deepavali shopping was strangely therapeutic, even though i didnt buy anything for myself. sheryl got a nice new pair of shoes and a fancy vest, my father got himself a new digital translator and is raving over it to me right now, and my mom… i think she didnt buy anything for herself either heh.

back to physics then, and hopefully i’ll get it out of the fking way cos there’s still math to cry over by the end of this week.

it really sucks to be treated as if you were invisible. if it were a special ability that i could switch on and off whenever i wanted to, it wouldnt be so bad, esp since it’ll be really useful. but when your comments, actions and even presence is totally ignored by your "friends", it’s hard not to feel left out of things no?

maybe i’m more of a social creature than i thought. i enjoy being in the know, and getting into the thick of the action all the time. as silly as it might seem to some of you, it actually means sth to me when sb opens up to share abt wad’s going on in their life, even though it means annoying me at like 4am in the morning with incessant msn alerts about how that particular day sucked to the core for them.

it’s a privilege to be able to just listen to some of your stories, backgrounds and problems. it’s an even bigger privilege to be able to encourage you guys and even advise you to a certain extent. i feel honoured everytime somebody bothers to listen to what i have to say,  and it feels even better when you know that your advice is able to help somebody in need, and you’re valued as a friend.

i try hard not to be pretentious, though i know i come across that way sometimes. it seems quite unlikely in this day and age that ppl would actually help others without the desire for any benefits or without an underlying motive, but i really do wanna help my friends in love. it’s absolutely impossible to love everyone though, i know that for a fact since i still do harbour a certain degree of bitterness within myself (yes, it sucks. do not learn this from me). but Jesus is able to do that, and that alone is worthy of me giving Him everything i’ve got in service to Him.

for some odd reason, i’ve been increasingly drawn towards music and my electone during this study period. it’s like a form of escape for me now, when i really dun wanna study or do any work, but i still wanna do sth useful with my time. i’ve always been quite perfectionist, so whenever i play i really want to make sure that it’s how the song was meant to be played. maybe it’s wishful thinking on my part to play the entire thing without any errors at all, i dunno.

i’ve never been particularly good at music, unlike the many talented friends i have (you guys are freaking awesome btw). but i still do enjoy playing, listening, soaking everything in. maybe i will never reach the standards of professional musicians, or be good enough to play for some special occasion or perform for a audience. but i’ll do my best, and enjoy myself while i’m at it. music has been a part of my life so far, and i think it’ll always be for the years to come (:

sean’s blogposts are terribly structured and reflect his absolutely fragmented thoughts, oh well.

i dunno why i sleep so late at night. sleeping is absolutely awesome, and it’s sth us students cant get enough of. but i have no idea why i sleep so late for, even though 1am to 5am are the most productive hrs of my day. my parents are of the idea that i sleep lots and lots, all the time, and i can never get enough rest because it’s already a vicious cycle. i sleep late, i feel lethargic the next day, i sleep in the afternoon, i wake up, i stay up at night cos i’ve already napped, then i sleep late again.

bah. this sleep cycle shit had better improve by the time i have my exams. 

i’m thinking abt the future and what to do with my life, and i’m seriously stumped. even if i venture into business, the field (apparently) requires me to have a good math base and proficiency in my most disliked subject. psychology has pretty much zero future in singapore, even though some of you might think i’m good at listening. law is a possibility, but i dun wanna study law for the sake of studying sth that "will earn me lots of money". econs is out cos i dun wanna deal with things on such a huge scale, so let’s not talk abt that.

rawr, come come. please contribute. sean needs input from his closest friends now.

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"i dun need to say sorry because i’m your father."

wtf.