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math paper 1 is fail.

any other questions? 

i just went through some of my archives from july and dec 06, and man how time has flown since then. it’s amazing how much (or little) i’ve grown since then, in terms of maturity, physically, mentally and spiritually. i honestly think my faith has stagnated to a point where i hardly find any excitement in the things i used to enjoy.

praying used to be really impt for me, and it should still be, but somehow things dun really feel the same anymore. it’s even more disconcerting to note that i was worrying abt my faith stagnating then, and 2 years down the road i’m still faced with the same problem. have i lost my priorities in life? do i even rmbr what is impt to me? what was impt to me in the first place?

i dunno. being the good wholesome christian boy isnt as easy as everyone thinks. and to think that i’ve been struggling with issues for more than a year, that is just an insanely long amount of time especially since i havent even turned 18 yet. yet through all this i’ve lost faith. faith in people, in friends, in my family, and worst of all in God.

don’t let my love grow cold
i’m calling out, light the fire again

light the fire again Lord, please. maybe it’s taken me 2 years to realise this, and even more for me to do anything abt it. forgive me, for i really really screwed up badly.

thank You for the ppl you’ve sent into my life to cheer me up and encourage me Lord. i hope i can treasure these friends as much as you treasure me, and more than they treasure me as well.

i need some love and encouragement now, please? 

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econs paper 2 was alright. i chose 3 of 5 questions, from which i onli picked 2 to write abt. the last question was just so much crap that even dinesh would be proud of.

on a side note, i picked questions 3, 4 and 5. my index number is also 345, so i had a hard time deciding if i should write my question number next to my index number like they told me to, or to write it somewhere else so that the teachers wouldnt think i’m some sort of joker and refuse to mark my papers.

i just wrote 3 4 5 there anyway. 

econs paper 1:

wasnt that bad, esp since i already spotted the question beforehand. not to mention all the notes that mr james ong has given us and the number of times he’s gone through all the protectionism nonsense. thank God for reminding me to study all that this morning, and refreshing my memory just before the paper. the FTA part was just… bad. i wrote abt 3/4 of a page for a 10 mark question, so you know where this is going -shrug- let’s just say i hope i get >18 for this paper.

econs paper 3:

i didnt know wad budget deficit was, and i thought it was BOP deficit. minus 20 marks out of 40 instantly, nuff said. 

english paper 2:

wrote until my hand hurt like madd. attempted to talk abt how Siddhartha actually had friends, arguing that his teachers were his friends too to some extent, while Huck’s relationship with the King and Duke might have also resembled that of friendship. it was easily the most i’ve written for any english paper in my life, and hopefully i can actually do well in paper 2 this time.

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econs paper 2 tmr. please just help me get a 6 now T.T 

so i know it’s not math yet (thank God), but today’s chinese papers were so stupid. it didnt help that paper 1 was ridiculously difficult, esp when i didnt understand most of the 2nd passage, and i totally talked nonsense about how excellent wushu is, and that it should be an olympic sport.

then again, there was paper 2. thank God for helping me with this qn spotting thing, and i think the other 3 (or 62, whichever you prefer) clbhl ppl would agree. because of that one single sheet of chinese i brought to school today, all 4 of us chose the same qn for our zuo wen. hopefully this time, i actually ace that stupid essay.

yinghao’s incessant giggling, fish’s retarded antics, steven’s rustiness and my general sleepiness today probably made this the best day of exams in my life, ever. i love clbhl (:

reading the poem 3 times over didnt help me at all, so i ended up having to comment on the 55 line prose, which i had hardly any idea wad it was about.

let’s hope tmr lifts all our spirits just that little bit. 

and so it shall begin in a few hrs time, after i finish watching jurassic park and the stupid t-rex eating up every single dumbass in the show.

or maybe they’re just dumbasses because they were eaten, i’m not sure. 

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Mon 23/6
English A1 SL Paper 1

Tue 24/6
Chinese B HL Paper 1 & 2

Thur 26/6
Economics HL Paper 1 & 3
English A1 SL Paper 2

Fri 27/6
Economics HL Paper 2

Mon 30/6
Mathematics SL Paper 1

Tue 1/7
Physics SL Paper 1 & 2
Geography HL Paper 1

Wed 2/7
Geography HL Paper 2

Thur 3/7
Mathematics SL Paper 2

Friday 4/7
Physics SL Paper 3

so, after completing the red book and market failure, i’ve pretty much finished studying microecons. now this is a rather big achievement mind you, esp since i absolutely didnt revise or study anything abt theory of firms or the different market structures for the final exams last year. i’m thoroughly exhausted now though, must be all the late nights getting to me again ):

cheryl’s insanely insane mugging is insane. i really have no idea how one can survive studying for such a long stretch at a go, and today we actually had lunch so that means that she had a break. this is in comparison to "normal" days when she doesnt have lunch because it might "break her concentration".

i’ll never be a mugger, just pretend onli. what a hypocrite you are, sean. 

today was a rather fulfilling day for me! managed to complete about half of unit 2.3 for econs, which all the production and costs nonsense, which i have also absolutely forgotten since mr james ong last taught it to us a long long time ago. which also explains why i didnt do the monopoly qn last year, but nvm.

other than studying, i managed to settle some personal stuff. it was an interesting experience, if i can put it that way. everything was absolutely new, esp the whole "secret hideout" thing. and for some odd reason, the cleaners employed by the HDB are getting better and better at their jobs hmm..

today was a good day (: tmr shall be good too i hope! 

sean was pretty much an anti-social creature during the church camp. the reasons for my mellowness and my generally black face were pretty much decided when the camp groupings were announced. nevertheless, i did try to accept things for what they were, since God has a reason for doing what He does, but i think i still kinda failed in the end.

in other news though, it was great to be able to renew certain friendships in church. oh-9 has grown closer, although i was doing all the talking and them just giving me comments, and perhaps new friendships might have been built in the course of the camp. of course, there was also the other extreme, when old friendships (if any) soured and interaction between me and them declined drastically. heck, i’ll just treasure those that care and ignore those who dont.

thank God for so much. helping me realise i’m not alone as i first thought, and giving me this period of time for a renewal and refreshing in Him. there’s still a lot more to be done, a lot more obstacles to get past, a lot more stumbling blocks i have to get rid of in my life in order to have a closer walk with Him. as of now, there’s one major one that i have to overcome, so help me out if you consider me as a friend (:

hate, rage, bitterness.        i’ll take what i can and try my best to get to the forgiveness part.

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i missed you internet, sniffs.

well now, sean will be away from thurs 12th to tues 17th. church camp in desaru followed by a trip to KL just for the heck of it.

will still be reachable by phone, so if there’s anything feel free to msg me! see you again soon (: